A Friend Indeed…

From the Preacher's Desk: A Friend Indeed…

Just for the sake of curiosity, I went to a major bookseller's website and searched for books on relationships. The result: 30,876 hits. Are you kidding me?!!! 31,000 books on relationships on this one site alone! That rather quickly told me two things: first, a lot of people are interested in reading about this topic; and second, a lot of people think that they already know a lot about it.

I looked through the search results at the titles of the books. Sadly, the Bible was not among them.

The truth is, however, that the Bible is the original book about relationships. The primary purpose of inspired Scripture is to instruct man on how to draw nigh to God. A secondary purpose is to help man to relate to his fellow man. Oftentimes within the Bible the relationship between husband and wife is addressed, but another relationship that too frequently is overlooked is that of friend to friend. It is sort of taken for granted that people just automatically know how to be friends, but sadly, that is often not the case.

When one opens the Word of God to examine relationships, what would you expect to find? A lot about love? A lot about tolerance? A lot about forgiveness? Yes, those things will be found and much, much more. For example, consider just a few passages of Scripture:

• Proverbs 11:13: "A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter." Sadly, not all friends know when to be quiet.
  
• Proverbs 17:9: "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends." A friend must learn to forgive and forget.
  
• Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Too many are fair weather friends who become veritable strangers when times get tough for you.
  
• Proverbs 18:24: "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." And people thought Emerson was smart when he wrote that "the only way to have a friend is to be one." I wonder where he got that idea.
  
• Proverbs 22:24: "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go." If we become a friend for someone else's convenience, we shall certainly become an associate of the consequences.
  
• Proverbs 25:17: "Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee." Sadly, not all friends know that there is a time to leave their friends alone.
  
• Proverbs 25:19: "Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint." Benjamin Franklin said it well: "Be slow in choosing a friend; slower in changing."
  
• Proverbs 27:6: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Although the words of a true friend may not be readily received and may even hurt, the true friend still has your best interest at heart.
  
• Proverbs 27:14: "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him." Good intentions are not always enough.
  
• Proverbs 27:17: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Friends can either increase or decrease our personal effectiveness. A true friend will challenge intellectually, as well as spiritually and emotionally.
  
• Proverbs 27:19: "As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man." The true friend will reflect the desires, emotions, and heart of the other.
  

As one reads over these verses, it is readily evident what one should be looking for in a friend. Obviously, the more of these qualities one can find in a friend, the better, and the truly ideal friend would possess all of them.

So what kind of friend are you? If these passages comprised a checklist, how would you have scored? If you are lacking anywhere, could you improve? Or are you more interested in having friends and not being one?

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to lift him up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)